These are copy-and-tweak scripts for when your body says “no” but the group is still in “go” mode.
Use them as-is, or paste them into an AI chat to fine-tune the tone. The aim is simple:
protect your body budget without apologising for existing.
Scenario A
Saying no to a spontaneous hike
For when everyone suddenly wants to “just walk up there, it’s not that far” and your body budget
knows it will cost tomorrow.
Refusing a hike
Version 1 · Short and firm
I’m going to sit this one out.
That climb is more than my body can afford today, and I’d rather keep some energy for the rest of the trip.
Please go and enjoy it – I’ll be much better company later if I don’t push through this.
Refusing a hike
Version 2 · Gentle explanation
I really want you all to go and enjoy that hike, but I’m going to skip it.
For me, a steep walk like that is pretty likely to trigger a flare, and then I lose not just the hike but the next few days as well.
I’d rather use my body budget on the plans we’ve already made, so I’ll find a comfortable spot to wait and see you afterwards.
Scenario B
Leaving a group dinner early
For when the table is happy to sit for hours, but your pain or fatigue is already at its limit.
Leaving dinner
Version 1 · Quick exit
I’ve really enjoyed tonight, but my body is clocking out.
If I stay much longer I’ll pay for it tomorrow, so I’m going to head back now to lie down and reset.
Please stay and keep enjoying yourselves – I’d rather leave a little early than be wiped out for the whole trip.
Leaving dinner
Version 2 · Extra reassurance
I’m going to slip away after this course.
Sitting this long is ramping my pain up, and if I push through I’ll probably lose tomorrow completely.
It’s not that I’m not enjoying the evening – I am – it’s just how my body works now. I’d love for you to stay and keep having fun; I’ll feel better knowing I’ve done what I need to do to keep up with the rest of the trip.
Scenario C
Asking a flight attendant for ice or water for meds
For when you need something simple but don’t want to feel like a nuisance.
On-board request
Version 1 · Clear and courteous
Hi, could I ask a quick favour?
I travel with chronic pain and I need to take some medication with cold water/ice to help it work properly.
When you have a moment, would it be possible to bring me a cup of water with some ice? There’s no rush – I just want to make sure I manage things before the pain spikes.
Want these in your own voice?
Copy any script into an AI chat along with:
“Please adapt this message for my [partner / daughter / friends], keep it kind but firm, and keep it around 2–3 sentences.”
Related tools for Strategic Pacers
Boundaries land better when your trip is designed around your body from the start. These tools
help you plan the logistics that sit underneath the conversations.
Strategic Pacer Travel Hub
See all the tools built for older travellers with chronic pain in one place: go / no-go support, body budget tools and recovery planning.
Social friction · Strategic Pacer
Diplomatic scripts for hard travel moments
These are copy-and-tweak scripts for when your body says “no” but the group is still in “go” mode. Use them as-is, or paste them into an AI chat to fine-tune the tone. The aim is simple: protect your body budget without apologising for existing.
Scenario A
Saying no to a spontaneous hike
For when everyone suddenly wants to “just walk up there, it’s not that far” and your body budget knows it will cost tomorrow.
Refusing a hike
Version 1 · Short and firm
Refusing a hike
Version 2 · Gentle explanation
Scenario B
Leaving a group dinner early
For when the table is happy to sit for hours, but your pain or fatigue is already at its limit.
Leaving dinner
Version 1 · Quick exit
Leaving dinner
Version 2 · Extra reassurance
Scenario C
Asking a flight attendant for ice or water for meds
For when you need something simple but don’t want to feel like a nuisance.
On-board request
Version 1 · Clear and courteous
Related tools for Strategic Pacers
Boundaries land better when your trip is designed around your body from the start. These tools help you plan the logistics that sit underneath the conversations.
Strategic Pacer Travel Hub
See all the tools built for older travellers with chronic pain in one place: go / no-go support, body budget tools and recovery planning.
Visit the Strategic Pacer Hub →Daily Body Budget Calculator
Know whether today is a Green, Yellow or Red day before you agree to “one more thing” on the itinerary.
Check today’s pacing colour →Pain-Aware Destination Audit
Use AI to flag “beautiful but brutal” sights and find gentler alternatives, so you say “no” less often on the ground.
Run a destination audit →